OMSmoofpi's Xanga

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:39:41 GMT

Bonjour, bonjour!

It's time for my occassional update:

1) Chaney is selibate(sp?) but still seeing a new college guy every night. (im having to type really carefully on this stiff keyboard. al and coley are asleep in this house where nothing stirs. not even a mouse.)

2) I'm finding new friends everyday. I'm being more outgoing and fliry lol. A good party is hard to find these days.

3) I'm helping (or at least trying) people again. It feels good. Al thinks it's a bad idea but I know what its like to need help and be lost not knowing what to do. You can make bad choices. I am the Unbiased Decision, please listen to what I have to say.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 02:18:46 GMT

Well since the last time we updated:

1) Me and Chaney broke up on the 28th

2) Me and Girl had a fling that started on the 28th (night, post-chaney, chillax) and lasted a while, ended, now might be back going.

3) Me and Emily just started flirting the other day and hung out tonight, it was awesome.

4) Little Alex left 2 days ago, it was really sad. The gang might drift back away since he's left.

5) Me and Chaney had a few days where we fell for each other again, but now we're dead. Very dead. It still hurts me a little though.

6) I lost my iTouch. I've gotta get my Nano and good black jeans back from Chaney at all costs.

7) Chaney's dating Mikey and some Taylar guy who is having a kid sometime soon. umm fuck her.

Btw I'm watching the Avatar right now and its so freaking sad. Aang just found out that Katara doesn't think of him in a romantic way but in a little brother way and thinks her and Zouko have something going on.

I got my bike fixed alot too. It's pretty good.

Till next time,

Lucy

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:18:49 GMT

Hey guys. I'm about to leave for Florida to go see grandpa in a few minutes.

a) a couple of days ago me and Chaney reconciled but I refused to go back out with her. so she's still seeing 6 other guys and trying to rub it in. I just assume she's gone and I guess thats fine with me. I love her but I cant always be there for her.

b) me and Al got a job at the Coke plant painting fences. I worked 2 days for 6 hours a day in the blazing sun and got $110 ^^

c) last night i was going to see Girl but she got picked up by the police for being out past curfew. Her mom just started trusting her, she's really upset. I'm sorry Girl.

d) I think Destiny is trying to play matchmaker with me and Angel lol. But yeah, she told me to call her and come to her thing on Friday (but I can't. FL.). I do and we just end up talking for an hour lol. Hey who knows.

e) im cheery and melancholy :[:]:

Well that was just a quick update.

Till next time,

Lucy

Monday, June 30, 2008

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:52:50 GMT

Hey guys. On June 28th, I broke up with Chaney. She tried to say if I didn't hang out with her on the 28th, she'd break up with me but it was Corey's birthday and he wanted to take some of his close friends to paintball and hang with us all day. So I just told her I was sorry but this only happened once a year. So we broke it off. I was kind of mopey all day. Then when I went to take her her stuff, she was all giddy and jumpy and was telling me how awesome her day was and stuff. She wouldn't tell me who she hung out with but it's Jarrod Gee. She has like 3 or 4 guys right now as her boy-toys but I couldn't care less.

I don't really care because I had this connection with this girl at Corey's party (btw his band kicked ass) and we've been hanging out alot since. We've had some more than friend things but we're mostly just friends that hang out alot and what-not. I enjoy her company, but I do miss Chaney sometimes. But then she tries to rub in about the guys, or "tasties" if i may, and I just lose interest. Owell, it's been nice having time to myself. I just wonder how long these guys are going to last against her manipulation, mood swings, and smothering.

Also I've been spending lots of time with the guys lately too and its been great. But last night I ditched them for Girl and they got kinda pissed. It's just she was having problems at home and by the end of the night we saved a baby kitten from a fence on the highway. We named the little scamp Eli.

I think I might go see Little Alex and the gang now, its such a pretty day on the verge of leaking rain.

Till next time,

Lucy

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:24:34 GMT

Hey guys. Lifes changed in one or two ways. Me and Chaney started dating on February 28th, we've broken up 11 times. She's cheated on me countless times. The most recent time I broke up with her for good. I walked home in the rain and stuff. I had no plans of return. For 3 days I was free at school and that was the happiest I had been in a long time. I had all my friends back there for me; Angel and me were talking, had some chemistry; for the first time in awhile, i had nothing to do, free time. But Chaney was threatening to either kill herself or move to Texas with her aunts. So she kinda guilted me into going back out with her. Now I'm glad I did, but at the time it was awful. I was terribly persocuted when I got back to school. I lost Destiny and Angel as friends. Chaney went back to taking my time. We fight almost daily still. More than once have I thought of breaking up with her again. I honestly didn't want to come into the summer with a relationship. I just wanted to be with my friends 24/7 but once again she's consumed my life. I just wish she had friends for her to hang out with. Our relationship would be so much better if we didnt spend every minute together, it gets stale. I love her though. It's just whenever I want to spend time with someone other than her, she tries to guilt me and gets angry at me. She's trying to make me into her, to where I have no one else BUT her. And it's almost working. I pretty much only have Al left. Luckily he doesn't need much attention. She's just smothering me. Always has. She's amazing, makes me laugh and everything. Just she uses me to vent on. She gets annoyed with me bc I'm all thats there. I need her, but I also need friends. It's impossible. blah, I'm just repeating myself at this point.

Anyways, Little Alex came back yesterday! It was amazing! He'll be back for 3 weeks but right now he's at the lake with X when we were supposed to go to the Y with Kollin, Corey, Seth M, and maybe Raynor.

Corey's birthday is on Friday which is cool but I hope Al's conjoined party with Morgan isn't on the same day =_=;;

I went camping and to Six Flags with Chaney this other day and after hours of freaking out and fighting I finally rode the Riddler Ride then Batman and Superman twice after I got stuck in it. It was amazing. I might have just gotten over the majority of my fear ^^

Till next time,

Lucy

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 06:03:11 GMT

Hey guys, I'm not really gonna summarize life up from my last post except:

1) Destiny turned 16, I made her a sign from many cutup street signs saying "be mine?", she said no. i said i'd wait.

2) Things went South with her for awhile on the verge of me being forced to break up with her. I endured, now things are great. In that transitional period I was swarmed by girls trying to get with me (God has funny sense of humor), but I endured. But I'm still not proud of myself.

3) 3 days ago was 6 months ^_^....and I'm still wary of Corey a bit.

4) Grandpa has bone cancer. He will die. I don't want Grandpa to go...

5) Grandma died 2 weeks ago (94). I carried the casket.

6) Liz is a better person.

7) Chaney and Alex are my 2 best friends in this world.

I recently realized that I can describe myself well with the Cardinal Sins. I decided to start listing off my acts of these Sins so I can fix it, or at least reflect on it and learn from it.

Pride: bulimia
Greed: attention
Lust: Emily
Envy: Corey
Gluttony: eating;drinking
Wrath: my family
Sloth: school work

One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:49:48 GMT

Hey guys, sorry I don't update that frequently. Chaney made me update today *spiteful glare* >,>...I can't stay angry at you, I'm sorry :/. But ya. Last Wednesday and Thursday I had to go to some Sleep Center for some narcalepsy tests. It was really long and tedious and boring. Then Friday through today I've been sick. O! and the a few days ago was me and Destiny's 4 month! and today, just one more month until she's 16. And we'll actually be allowed to date and see each other. I'm estatic. And also....it's Christmas time!! I love Christmas time. I actually feel happy during this period of blind jolly euphoria. I'm still gonna try to get the Sailor Moon set from McKay's for Destiny for Christmas. (Sorry Chaney.) I'm gonna try to beg my mom to take me down there on Friday. It's going to be a terrible scream-fest all the way there. God my throat sounds bad. I just tried talking and its terrible. Today was great (besides being terribly sick that is) I saw Destiny this mornign and her hair was awesome!! She finally got red and green streaks in it and it was put up in the back. It was brilliant. I was talking to her this morning and ever since I had been such a happy camper for the rest of the day ^_^. I wanted to just jump up and do a heel-click. Or break out into song and dance and everyone else would join in totally choreographed. NOT High School Musical. The Music Man perhaps.

The other day I found this poem and I really liked it.

"One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night"

One fine day in the middle of the night

Two dead boys stood up to fight

Back to back they faced each other

Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind and the other couldn't see

So they chose a dummy for a referee

A blind man went to see fair play

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralyzed donkey passing by

Kicked the blind man in the eye

Knocked him through a 9-inch wall

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all

A deaf policeman heard the noise

And came and shot the two dead boys

If you don't believe the story's true

Ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Well. I'm gonna go to bed now. Farewell. Till next time.

-Lucy Dearest

Psyco-Ed

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:18:39 GMT

Hey guys. Entschuldigung for not updating regularly, but I use a pencil for petrifying memories now instead of a keyboard. I kept a dream diary for awhile, then I started drawing again, so now I have a dream sketch diary and I draw in it often. Its great. O ya, Chaney's birthday is in 4 days, so umm yay pre-birthday! And me and Des' 4 months is in 8 days. She still doesn't keep track, but I do and thats all that matters ^_^. umm I've also kinda been into poetry alot. Reading, not writing it. I've tried writing. It's ugly. I should just stick with masturbation. Another good poem is by Hughes Mearns and it goes:

As I was going up a stair,

I met a man that wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today,

O I wish, I wish he would go away.

I really like it. I thought alot about it. I think I got a new fave.

-Lucy Dearest

Lenore

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 05:50:07 GMT

Ah, broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!
Let the bell toll! -a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river -
And, Guy De Vere, hast thou no tear? -weep now or never more!
See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!
Come! let the burial rite be read -the funeral song be sung! -
An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young -
A dirge for her, the doubly dead in that she died so young.

"Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,
And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her -that she died!
How shall the ritual, then, be read? -the requiem how be sung
By you -by yours, the evil eye, -by yours, the slanderous tongue
That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?"

Peccavimus; but rave not thus! and let a Sabbath song
Go up to God so solemnly the dead may feel no wrong!
The sweet Lenore hath "gone before," with Hope, that flew beside,
Leaving thee wild for the dear child that should have been thy bride -
For her, the fair and debonnaire, that now so lowly lies,
The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes -
The life still there, upon her hair -the death upon her eyes.

Avaunt! tonight my heart is light. No dirge will I upraise,
But waft the angel on her flight with a paean of old days!
Let no bell toll! -lest her sweet soul, amid its hallowed mirth,
Should catch the note, as it doth float up from the damned Earth.
To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven -
From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven -
From grief and groan to a golden throne beside the King of Heaven.

- Edgar Allan Poe

Friday, October 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 04:05:36 GMT

Hey guys. It's fall now, and the weathers great. It's a little cooler with powerful gales, my favorite. I'm actually about to go outside and lay on the trampoline for a bit and write. I've been doing that alot lately...I actually slept out there yesterday. Tomorrow (today) I have to go to the doctor because I think I have narcalepsy...not good...also I've been pretty sick for awhile now. I have mono, my synisis' are acting up, and i've had a headache for 2 weeks now. Umm me and Des have been together almost 3 months now, and things are pretty good. I completely stopped reading House of Leaves awhile back but I plan to start back on it tomorrow (today). Tomorrow is the Homecoming Dance and Football game and I might go to the game with Al but I dont think I'm not going to the dance. I never really realized how almost nothing affects me emotionally except when my best friends of the girl I care about at the time says something that hurts. Their words are the only ones that can actually stick in my mind and begin to rot it. I've been really worried left and right about if Destiny's angry atme or if she's bored with me or likes some other guy, because I'm really not that confident in myself when it comes down to it. And I think I took a hard enough look at myself and I think I got why I'm such a jerk lately. I've just assumed it was because Leroy taught me how to stand up for myself over the summer and taught me the word "No." Well, I think it's actually because I'm a bloody tyrant. I realized how much influence and connections and friends who would do almost whatever I ask or take whatever advice I give them without question. And I think I've been having a field day with this the past couple months and have been a jerk because I'm not so scared that they wouldn't hang out with me anymore if I was mean...which sucks because now I'm mean. I've been trying to fix it and so far it's struggling but working on it. I don't like being this person...owell...until next time. - Lucy